AKF
AKF
A Supernatural story by Jennie @DeanIsntFine
Featuring @Aaaahhhxy and @jarpad
5:45 a.m. was no time to be riding alone in an Uber in a foreign country. On a different continent.
But here was Axy, in the dark, in the rain, being driven by a stranger to the Corner Cafe in North Vancouver, B.C.
It wasn’t the first iffy Supernatural-related choice she’d made, and Chuck willing -- if the guy behind the wheel wasn’t a ghoulpire -- it wouldn’t be the last.
The trip to Canada had churned up a mix of emotions for Axy. So different from Birmingham. SPNUK had been a blur of color, a flurry of pure merriment and the sounds of squee from forever-friends she had met for the first time.
But she had known it could never live up to her expectations. She treasured it, treasured the fleeting moments she’d spent with the man who had changed her life, but it had been like a whirlwind. Joyful chaos. Then gone.
Too fleeting, she thought now. It had left her unsatisfied in a way that, honestly, frightened her a bit. Too easy to sink back into despair. And she had come too far, fought too hard, to go back.
So, a lot was riding on Vancouver. So much that she found herself alone with her doubts, in the back of an Uber, on the way to an obscure diner, an ocean and more away from home.
Vancouver was where it all happened. Hollywood North. Better than Disneyland.
She’d already been to Stanley Park, where so many of Supernatural’s forest scenes were set, and to the old Riverview Hospital -- Crowley’s prison for monsters, where Cas met in secret with Anna and, of course, where they’d filmed the Samifer scene from “The End.”
Now, using the excuse that she was still jet-lagged and couldn’t sleep, she was headed -- alone -- to the Corner Cafe, where they’d filmed Season 4’s “Death Takes a Holiday.” The boys had shared an uneasy meal there the week after their ugly encounter with the siren. Thank goodness Bobby had pulled their butts out of the fire on that one.
Axy was determined to see every single location she could. Most she’d shared with friends, but for some reason she had felt moved to make this trip alone.
The Uber reached the diner -- across Vancouver Harbor from the convention hotel -- at about 6:15, right after opening time. Axy paid and tipped the driver -- apparently not a monster -- and stepped out into a light rain.
It was still dark, but fluorescent light was streaming through the blinds, and the place looked deserted as Axy approached the clear glass door. On second look, she saw a lone figure inside, hunched over a table, a Sharpie marker in his hand. He seemed to be scrawling on a menu.
The hair. Those shoulders.
Frozen with her hand on the door handle, Axy watched as Jared got up and moved to the next table, grabbed another menu, and started scribbling again.
She felt as if she was on autopilot as she opened the door and stepped inside.
Warm, dry air washed over her as the bell over the door jingled, and the man who’d changed her life looked up.
They locked eyes for a moment, and then Jared rose again, crossed to another table, grabbed another menu.
She shuffled over to him, transfixed.
“Axy, right?” he said, without looking up. He was focused, long hair hanging in his face and tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, as he carefully circled the letters “AKF” within the word “BREAKFAST” atop each menu at the table.
“Axy,” he said again. He looked up, brushed his hair back, and smiled. “From Birmingham. Please, sit.” He gestured to the chair across from him.
Yes, sit, Axy thought. Sitting is good. She felt as if her knees would give out any second. She still couldn’t bring herself to speak.
“AKF!” Jared said, pointing to his handiwork. “Always Keep Fighting. I’ve been visiting every diner in town.” He craned his neck, peering back toward the kitchen, to see if any of the workers were watching. “I haven’t gotten caught yet,” he said, and winked. “Fingers crossed.”
Axy tried to clear her throat. She felt sure she was trapped in a dream.
Jared, a little manic as always, one knee bouncing, was happy enough to fill the silence.
“I keep hoping someone will see it,” he said, gesturing at the menu. “You know, from the family. Someone in town for the con. It’s like a little secret message from me. AKF. It hit me one day that it’s right there, right in the middle of ‘breakfast.’ Unbelievable!” He smiled.
“Maybe someone will see it,” he said again. “Right when they need to hear it, you know?”
Axy got hold of her thoughts and managed to squeak out, “Wait. You remember … me?”
Jared’s eyes lit up. “Yes! From Birmingham. You were so shy, though, and didn’t say much. I meet so many people, at so many cons, but I remember everyone’s face. It’s not something I talk about much, but I have a good eye for faces. And you? You look like you have a great story. I’m sorry I didn’t get to hear it.”
A great story, Axy thought. Could she bring herself to tell it?
Could she tell him about her fight against depression and the dark, dark thoughts? The months of mysterious agony in her midsection, the sleepless nights -- and finally the terrifying news of the tumor inside her that had grown to a massive 11 inches long?
How the only thing that’d gotten her through it all was a thrilling story about two brothers, an angel, Lucifer’s son and a really, really cool car? The story, and the man who -- incredibly -- sat before her now.
And that moment before surgery when she’d seen the sunrise, and realized she wanted to see many, many more.
As Axy struggled to speak, Jared continued. “They try to protect me, you know. I know they do. My friends, family… they don’t want me to hear the fans’ stories. They say I’m too sensitive, too empathetic.”
He smiled ruefully. “They’re afraid I can’t handle it.”
Axy knew, of course, about his struggles. Depression. Anxiety. He knew he had the tendency to let himself get overwhelmed.
So he’d been open about his battle, learned to focus on the here and now. And he’d made it his mission, through his charity campaigns, to let his fans know that they weren’t alone. Urging them to always keep fighting. AKF. The three little letters she’d clung to like a life raft throughout her cancer scare. The message from him that had carried her through.
“I’m stronger than they think,” Jared said to her now. “I’m getting stronger, anyway.” He laughed, and the light from the diner’s fluorescents danced in his hazel eyes. “It’s a process.”
Axy sat, still silent, with her mouth slightly open.
Jared laughed again and reached across the table to hold her hands. “I have totally overwhelmed you here, haven’t I? I do that sometimes. I’m sorry. Let’s order some coffee.”
He signaled to the waitress, who had emerged from the kitchen, tying on her apron and getting ready to start her day.
“So, Axy… pleased to meet you. Again,” Jared said. “Why don’t you tell me your story?”
As the sun came up and streamed through the windows of the diner, Axy did.
But here was Axy, in the dark, in the rain, being driven by a stranger to the Corner Cafe in North Vancouver, B.C.
It wasn’t the first iffy Supernatural-related choice she’d made, and Chuck willing -- if the guy behind the wheel wasn’t a ghoulpire -- it wouldn’t be the last.
The trip to Canada had churned up a mix of emotions for Axy. So different from Birmingham. SPNUK had been a blur of color, a flurry of pure merriment and the sounds of squee from forever-friends she had met for the first time.
But she had known it could never live up to her expectations. She treasured it, treasured the fleeting moments she’d spent with the man who had changed her life, but it had been like a whirlwind. Joyful chaos. Then gone.
Too fleeting, she thought now. It had left her unsatisfied in a way that, honestly, frightened her a bit. Too easy to sink back into despair. And she had come too far, fought too hard, to go back.
So, a lot was riding on Vancouver. So much that she found herself alone with her doubts, in the back of an Uber, on the way to an obscure diner, an ocean and more away from home.
Vancouver was where it all happened. Hollywood North. Better than Disneyland.
She’d already been to Stanley Park, where so many of Supernatural’s forest scenes were set, and to the old Riverview Hospital -- Crowley’s prison for monsters, where Cas met in secret with Anna and, of course, where they’d filmed the Samifer scene from “The End.”
Now, using the excuse that she was still jet-lagged and couldn’t sleep, she was headed -- alone -- to the Corner Cafe, where they’d filmed Season 4’s “Death Takes a Holiday.” The boys had shared an uneasy meal there the week after their ugly encounter with the siren. Thank goodness Bobby had pulled their butts out of the fire on that one.
Axy was determined to see every single location she could. Most she’d shared with friends, but for some reason she had felt moved to make this trip alone.
The Uber reached the diner -- across Vancouver Harbor from the convention hotel -- at about 6:15, right after opening time. Axy paid and tipped the driver -- apparently not a monster -- and stepped out into a light rain.
It was still dark, but fluorescent light was streaming through the blinds, and the place looked deserted as Axy approached the clear glass door. On second look, she saw a lone figure inside, hunched over a table, a Sharpie marker in his hand. He seemed to be scrawling on a menu.
The hair. Those shoulders.
Frozen with her hand on the door handle, Axy watched as Jared got up and moved to the next table, grabbed another menu, and started scribbling again.
She felt as if she was on autopilot as she opened the door and stepped inside.
Warm, dry air washed over her as the bell over the door jingled, and the man who’d changed her life looked up.
They locked eyes for a moment, and then Jared rose again, crossed to another table, grabbed another menu.
She shuffled over to him, transfixed.
“Axy, right?” he said, without looking up. He was focused, long hair hanging in his face and tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, as he carefully circled the letters “AKF” within the word “BREAKFAST” atop each menu at the table.
“Axy,” he said again. He looked up, brushed his hair back, and smiled. “From Birmingham. Please, sit.” He gestured to the chair across from him.
Yes, sit, Axy thought. Sitting is good. She felt as if her knees would give out any second. She still couldn’t bring herself to speak.
“AKF!” Jared said, pointing to his handiwork. “Always Keep Fighting. I’ve been visiting every diner in town.” He craned his neck, peering back toward the kitchen, to see if any of the workers were watching. “I haven’t gotten caught yet,” he said, and winked. “Fingers crossed.”
Axy tried to clear her throat. She felt sure she was trapped in a dream.
Jared, a little manic as always, one knee bouncing, was happy enough to fill the silence.
“I keep hoping someone will see it,” he said, gesturing at the menu. “You know, from the family. Someone in town for the con. It’s like a little secret message from me. AKF. It hit me one day that it’s right there, right in the middle of ‘breakfast.’ Unbelievable!” He smiled.
“Maybe someone will see it,” he said again. “Right when they need to hear it, you know?”
Axy got hold of her thoughts and managed to squeak out, “Wait. You remember … me?”
Jared’s eyes lit up. “Yes! From Birmingham. You were so shy, though, and didn’t say much. I meet so many people, at so many cons, but I remember everyone’s face. It’s not something I talk about much, but I have a good eye for faces. And you? You look like you have a great story. I’m sorry I didn’t get to hear it.”
A great story, Axy thought. Could she bring herself to tell it?
Could she tell him about her fight against depression and the dark, dark thoughts? The months of mysterious agony in her midsection, the sleepless nights -- and finally the terrifying news of the tumor inside her that had grown to a massive 11 inches long?
How the only thing that’d gotten her through it all was a thrilling story about two brothers, an angel, Lucifer’s son and a really, really cool car? The story, and the man who -- incredibly -- sat before her now.
And that moment before surgery when she’d seen the sunrise, and realized she wanted to see many, many more.
As Axy struggled to speak, Jared continued. “They try to protect me, you know. I know they do. My friends, family… they don’t want me to hear the fans’ stories. They say I’m too sensitive, too empathetic.”
He smiled ruefully. “They’re afraid I can’t handle it.”
Axy knew, of course, about his struggles. Depression. Anxiety. He knew he had the tendency to let himself get overwhelmed.
So he’d been open about his battle, learned to focus on the here and now. And he’d made it his mission, through his charity campaigns, to let his fans know that they weren’t alone. Urging them to always keep fighting. AKF. The three little letters she’d clung to like a life raft throughout her cancer scare. The message from him that had carried her through.
“I’m stronger than they think,” Jared said to her now. “I’m getting stronger, anyway.” He laughed, and the light from the diner’s fluorescents danced in his hazel eyes. “It’s a process.”
Axy sat, still silent, with her mouth slightly open.
Jared laughed again and reached across the table to hold her hands. “I have totally overwhelmed you here, haven’t I? I do that sometimes. I’m sorry. Let’s order some coffee.”
He signaled to the waitress, who had emerged from the kitchen, tying on her apron and getting ready to start her day.
“So, Axy… pleased to meet you. Again,” Jared said. “Why don’t you tell me your story?”
As the sun came up and streamed through the windows of the diner, Axy did.
This is a little dreamy fic I wrote for my very good friend who was headed to her very first convention to share her very personal, very brave story with her sunshine, Jared Padalecki. She was nervous and unsure that he would meet all her expectations. Of course, he met them all, and blew them out of the water. So, as it turns out, the real deal is even better than fiction. I'm so happy for her, and I can't wait for her and everyone to see him again in Vancouver.
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