Dean's Not Fine

Nourished A Supernatural story by Jennie  @DeanIsntFine Featuring Dean Winchester  @DWImpala67 This is the fourth of my VBF stories, featuring my best fictional friend. It is set in the summer hiatus, after Season 14's "Moriah." To read the others, click: Part 1:  "VBF" Part 2:  "Welcome to Rocky's" Part 3:  "Last Call" Dean Winchester made me a sandwich. I take the barest moment to process that as the china plate clangs on the map table, where I’m sitting, poring over yet another ancient text on the nature of God. “Here you go,” he booms. “Your favorite. Roast beef, rare. Extra mayo, tomatoes, and just a suggestion of salt. Piled high on… what the hell is ‘Seed-uction’ bread, anyway?” I grab the rim of the plate, rotating it left and right to closely inspect his creation. “More importantly,” I say, “where the hell did you even find it in Lebanon, Kansas?” He shrugs and sits down, rubbing absently at his jaw an...

It was all I'd ever needed from Mary Winchester. I wrote about this scene extensively in my Thinky Thoughts post titled "How Mary and I got square." Some of what I wrote there is reposted below. Way back in "Who We Are," when Dean confessed that he hated Mary as much as he loved her, he begged her: "Mom, I need you to see me." Here, at Donna's cabin, Mary finally sees him. She hears him. She listens to the story about his botched childhood efforts at making Winchester Surprise. She finally sees her little boys, alone in some motel room somewhere, fending for themselves -- with Dean shouldering the burden of responsibility. She finally hears about how John raged at them for stinking up the place -- for reminding him of her.  All I ever wanted was for Mary to hear that, one time. She doesn't have anything to answer for. She wasn't even alive. I get that. But if she wants to know her sons as men, she needs to look that in the...

So… you came out here to see Donna, to see Mom on some – some what? Some sick, secret farewell tour? Sam, I know it hurts. But there is no way your brother was going to leave without saying goodbye. This is Season 14, after all.  Dean needed a place to work, a place to do what needed to be done, without distractions, without hesitation. But there is no way anyone can convince me that he wasn't going to say goodbye to Sam, to Jack, to Cas.  He wanted the box to be a fait accompli, so he would need to brook no argument. He wanted to carry out the plan without debate. He took advantage of the opportunity to seek some measure of comfort from Donna and his mom ( see previous post ), but he was not going away permanently without telling his family.  And that's part of the difference I wanted to touch on here... This is Season 14. The brothers and Cas have been through so much. They have hurt each other, deceived each other, betrayed each other -- but they ...

Welp, now we know what Dean is doing with Billie's book. He's building a box -- for Michael, for himself, for eternity. But first, a little trip. And it isn't a "sick, secret farewell tour," as Sam eventually says (we'll get to all that in the next post). As far as I see it, Dean is on a Comfort Quest -- and as we all know, it defines him, and it's what he fully deserves. Before he sets off, he gives Sam an awkward but heartfelt hug -- one that immediately perplexes and disturbs the younger Winchester. Dean is obviously desperate for comfort here -- both to give and receive it, in that unique way that is absolutely Dean. I had to make sure I had captured this moment. Then it's off to see Donna. Who is more like Dean than Donna? She is also masterful at hiding (eating, burying) her pain -- something we don't get to see much of, given how rarely her character is on the show. But she and Dean are kindred spirits in that way, and th...