Dean's Not Fine

It was all I'd ever needed from Mary Winchester. I wrote about this scene extensively in my Thinky Thoughts post titled "How Mary and I got square." Some of what I wrote there is reposted below. Way back in "Who We Are," when Dean confessed that he hated Mary as much as he loved her, he begged her: "Mom, I need you to see me." Here, at Donna's cabin, Mary finally sees him. She hears him. She listens to the story about his botched childhood efforts at making Winchester Surprise. She finally sees her little boys, alone in some motel room somewhere, fending for themselves -- with Dean shouldering the burden of responsibility. She finally hears about how John raged at them for stinking up the place -- for reminding him of her.  All I ever wanted was for Mary to hear that, one time. She doesn't have anything to answer for. She wasn't even alive. I get that. But if she wants to know her sons as men, she needs to look that in the...

A Supernatural "Prophet and Loss" coda by Mich @raiahome Headlights cut the night and illuminated the two-lane blacktop in front of them. For once, the road was smooth and straight, so she had time to think. Sam and Dean were in their usual places up front. They were quiet, but it was a tense quiet. The atmosphere reminded her of the air after the lightning had struck and the thunder rolled away. There was a Bob Seger song playing softly, “Turn The Page.” She had learned long ago to judge the boys’ emotional condition by what music Dean played and how loudly he played it. This choice was not ideal, but at least he wasn’t blasting it to prevent any possibility of conversation. She judged the situation as somewhat stable. Or as stable as it got for her boys. The Angel was in the back seat, not saying a word, but then he hardly ever did. She was still not sure what to make of Cas. From the things she had heard, he had caused her boys a lot of heartache, but ...

Just our boys. On the road. In their Baby. Towing Dean's homemade coffin. Like you do. The themes of mental illness from Season 14 -- and possibly carrying over from Season 13 -- are boiling over into some of the most overt imagery we've seen to date from Supernatural. You can't get more blatant than the beauty that is Baby being forced to drag around this ugly appendage that starkly symbolizes Dean's -- and, in no way a coincidence, Billie's -- final solution to the battle with Michael. The suicidal symbolism runs throughout this episode, from the cop telling Nick, "You’re done. You’re buried," to poor Tony Alvarez, who -- upon realizing that God wasn't speaking to him -- grabs Dean's (yes, Dean's) gun and blows his brains out. On top of it all, it looks like it's time to pull the plug on old Donatello -- or is it? Cas gets his chance to apologize for what happened to the prophet -- it was necessary, but still, he wishe...

Between this, the scene in the car and the ending scene with Sam, both boys were thrust back to a younger, more vulnerable state... And the fact that @JensenAckles and @jarpad actually captured that with their faces, voices... Stunning. #SPN300 is gonna rock our world, y'all. https://t.co/pTQ6V8ENYk — Dean's Not Fine #SPN300 💔🥃🥧 (@DeanIsntFine) February 2, 2019 It started with sheer terror. The images of Dean inside the box, at the beginning of "Prophet and Loss" -- the sequence we'd heard had brought some of the crew to tears -- kicked us all square in the gut. There he was, one of the strongest men we've ever known, reduced to a terrified boy in the dark, panicking in the small space, water dripping, calling out for Sam. (We know Michael initially kept Dean drowning... could that experience be making this terror even more intense?) When we found out it was a dream, it wasn't much solace. Because here were Sam and Dean, back in so...

So… you came out here to see Donna, to see Mom on some – some what? Some sick, secret farewell tour? Sam, I know it hurts. But there is no way your brother was going to leave without saying goodbye. This is Season 14, after all.  Dean needed a place to work, a place to do what needed to be done, without distractions, without hesitation. But there is no way anyone can convince me that he wasn't going to say goodbye to Sam, to Jack, to Cas.  He wanted the box to be a fait accompli, so he would need to brook no argument. He wanted to carry out the plan without debate. He took advantage of the opportunity to seek some measure of comfort from Donna and his mom ( see previous post ), but he was not going away permanently without telling his family.  And that's part of the difference I wanted to touch on here... This is Season 14. The brothers and Cas have been through so much. They have hurt each other, deceived each other, betrayed each other -- but they ...

Welp, now we know what Dean is doing with Billie's book. He's building a box -- for Michael, for himself, for eternity. But first, a little trip. And it isn't a "sick, secret farewell tour," as Sam eventually says (we'll get to all that in the next post). As far as I see it, Dean is on a Comfort Quest -- and as we all know, it defines him, and it's what he fully deserves. Before he sets off, he gives Sam an awkward but heartfelt hug -- one that immediately perplexes and disturbs the younger Winchester. Dean is obviously desperate for comfort here -- both to give and receive it, in that unique way that is absolutely Dean. I had to make sure I had captured this moment. Then it's off to see Donna. Who is more like Dean than Donna? She is also masterful at hiding (eating, burying) her pain -- something we don't get to see much of, given how rarely her character is on the show. But she and Dean are kindred spirits in that way, and th...