Dean's Not Fine

A Supernatural story by Mich  @raiahome It’s New Years Eve 2029. The Green Cooler is packed with beer, all nicely chilled of course, and is sitting in the backseat of the Impala as they wait for their boys. OK, some may say that at 46 and 50 Sam and Dean are no longer children, but to them, they would always be their “boys.” But that’s what happens when you’ve watched over people since they were babies. There’s a comfortable quiet in the garage. These two have known each other for more years than either wants to remember. They’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly of a hunter’s life and managed to survive it together.  Sure, things are a bit quieter now that the Winchesters are concentrating more on training up young hunters, but they still take on the odd job now and then, and Baby and The Cooler are always ready for a new adventure. Tonight, however, isn't about monsters. It's about tradition. As the silence stretches on, The Cooler decides to break th...

A Supernatural story by Mich  @raiahome I bet some of you are wondering: “How does a car come to life?” After all, it’s just a hunk of metal and wiring. It has no heart, no brain, no soul. That’s true, and it’s the reason most cars never become aware. But sometimes someone is willing to share their own life. Willing to believe so strongly, care so deeply and put so much of their love into something that it can’t help but to come alive. Such a person is Dean Winchester. Hi! I’m Baby, and this is my story. I’m a black ’67 Chevy Impala. I’m sleek, strong, sexy, badass and beautiful, or so my owner tells me. I belong to Dean, and he belongs to me. So does his little...well, younger...  brother Sam. Now that I’ve had time to look in the rear view mirror, so to speak, I’ve been able to piece together how I became alive. It didn’t happen all at once. It took some time. In the beginning there were just flashes of sound. The laughter of children. A man’s gravelly v...

A Supernatural story by Mich @raiahome Hello, again! It’s me. Baby. I couldn’t help noticing that a lot of you seem to think my life is all racing back and forth across this land, hauling two cute guys, a trunk full of weapons, a box of old cassettes and a funky green cooler. Well, let me tell you! It’s not all tuneups and squealing tires! Like the year Sam was in hell, or so we thought. I was stuck in the garage, but at least I had company now and then. Lisa and Ben would come in looking for something, and Dean would check on me once in a while. The absolute worst was when those Leviathan douches were wearing my boys’ faces and driving around in a fake me causing mayhem! For the last few months of 2011 and the first few months of 2012, I was on what Dean called “lockdown.” I called it being bored out of my engine block! Stuck in a drafty, deserted old barn all by myself. I have to admit, my mind did wander a bit ... Well, I guess these excerpts should give you some idea of h...

A Supernatural story by Mich @raiahome INTRODUCTION Hello. My name is Baby. I’m a black 1967 Chevy Impala. I was created on April 24, 1967, but I didn’t become aware until my current owner, Dean Winchester, brought me to life. In case you’re wondering, no, not all cars are alive. Only the ones who are treated like family. A few years back Dean and his brother, Sam, stored some books in my trunk. When I had some down time, I read them and was stunned to realize they were about my boys’ lives! It occurred to me that some folks might like to hear my side of the stories. If you’re not interested, then just drive on by, but if you are… well, buckle in and here we go! CHAPTER 1 Now this is what she loved! They were headed west on a long stretch of road. The sun was shining, the air was crisp, the music was playing loud and her engine was purring like a tiger. Dean seemed a little less tense. He was still trying to call his father every couple of hours, but the farther t...

A Supernatural "Prophet and Loss" coda by Mich @raiahome Headlights cut the night and illuminated the two-lane blacktop in front of them. For once, the road was smooth and straight, so she had time to think. Sam and Dean were in their usual places up front. They were quiet, but it was a tense quiet. The atmosphere reminded her of the air after the lightning had struck and the thunder rolled away. There was a Bob Seger song playing softly, “Turn The Page.” She had learned long ago to judge the boys’ emotional condition by what music Dean played and how loudly he played it. This choice was not ideal, but at least he wasn’t blasting it to prevent any possibility of conversation. She judged the situation as somewhat stable. Or as stable as it got for her boys. The Angel was in the back seat, not saying a word, but then he hardly ever did. She was still not sure what to make of Cas. From the things she had heard, he had caused her boys a lot of heartache, but ...

Just our boys. On the road. In their Baby. Towing Dean's homemade coffin. Like you do. The themes of mental illness from Season 14 -- and possibly carrying over from Season 13 -- are boiling over into some of the most overt imagery we've seen to date from Supernatural. You can't get more blatant than the beauty that is Baby being forced to drag around this ugly appendage that starkly symbolizes Dean's -- and, in no way a coincidence, Billie's -- final solution to the battle with Michael. The suicidal symbolism runs throughout this episode, from the cop telling Nick, "You’re done. You’re buried," to poor Tony Alvarez, who -- upon realizing that God wasn't speaking to him -- grabs Dean's (yes, Dean's) gun and blows his brains out. On top of it all, it looks like it's time to pull the plug on old Donatello -- or is it? Cas gets his chance to apologize for what happened to the prophet -- it was necessary, but still, he wishe...

Saved A Supernatural "Prophet and Loss" (Episode 14.12) coda by Jennie @deanisntfine Inspired by and dedicated to Meg @Meg_lo_Maniacal He’s got to admit it. It’s good to be home. Sam’s outburst at the nursing home had shaken Dean, had left him feeling … small. Bare. Raw. Racked with guilt.  He wanders the bunker’s tile halls now, exhausted, Michael raging in his mind. There’ll be no rest tonight. Dim light streams from the kitchen. As Dean enters, he finds Cas, sitting alone at the table.  “Hey, pal,” Dean says softly, and he crosses the room to pull a couple of beers from the fridge. “Hey,” Cas says as Dean sits across from him, handing over one of the cold bottles. For a while, they sip in silence. For Dean, the best moments are the quiet ones, just like this, when Cas is simply there. Whenever he’s gone, Dean feels restless, anchorless, adrift. The angel grounds him, Dean realizes now. His presence centers him, quiets the sto...

So… you came out here to see Donna, to see Mom on some – some what? Some sick, secret farewell tour? Sam, I know it hurts. But there is no way your brother was going to leave without saying goodbye. This is Season 14, after all.  Dean needed a place to work, a place to do what needed to be done, without distractions, without hesitation. But there is no way anyone can convince me that he wasn't going to say goodbye to Sam, to Jack, to Cas.  He wanted the box to be a fait accompli, so he would need to brook no argument. He wanted to carry out the plan without debate. He took advantage of the opportunity to seek some measure of comfort from Donna and his mom ( see previous post ), but he was not going away permanently without telling his family.  And that's part of the difference I wanted to touch on here... This is Season 14. The brothers and Cas have been through so much. They have hurt each other, deceived each other, betrayed each other -- but they ...

Welp, now we know what Dean is doing with Billie's book. He's building a box -- for Michael, for himself, for eternity. But first, a little trip. And it isn't a "sick, secret farewell tour," as Sam eventually says (we'll get to all that in the next post). As far as I see it, Dean is on a Comfort Quest -- and as we all know, it defines him, and it's what he fully deserves. Before he sets off, he gives Sam an awkward but heartfelt hug -- one that immediately perplexes and disturbs the younger Winchester. Dean is obviously desperate for comfort here -- both to give and receive it, in that unique way that is absolutely Dean. I had to make sure I had captured this moment. Then it's off to see Donna. Who is more like Dean than Donna? She is also masterful at hiding (eating, burying) her pain -- something we don't get to see much of, given how rarely her character is on the show. But she and Dean are kindred spirits in that way, and th...

It's not often we see a promotional shot from the CW that features all of Team Free Will 2.0... and even if this is a Photoshop chop job, I liked it as soon as I saw it.  First of all, I see no evidence of the (frankly insulting) airbrushing they did to earlier, solo versions of these photos... And we're all feeling some angst through Hellatus with Dean back under the thrall of Michael.  So I was inspired (thanks @dottweets for the photo editing) to make a little something to remind us what Supernatural is really about. ❤❤❤ 

Imagine if your life was as filled with sacrifice and, well, bad friggin' luck as the Winchesters'. I've always admired the way that the boys keep fighting, many times in the face of apparently insurmountable odds. So serious is their work ethic, their sense of responsibility, that even their foes have learned not to bet against them. Bruce Hornsby's song "Fortunate Son" is inspired by the story of a Marine named Lewis Puller , who was the son of another legendary Marine. He followed his dad into service, and war, and lost both legs in Vietnam. His autobiography won a Pulitzer Prize in 1992. He tragically committed suicide in 1994, at age 48. The story definitely carries parallels to John and Dean -- the good son, following his father into battle, and suffering the painful consequences. There's no glory to be found in this service, the hunting life. Just pain, heartbreak and sacrifice. Always the sacrifice.  Read Bruce's fascinating ac...

Ahhhh, life on the road. There have been many songs written about the grind of touring, from the musician's perspective. Less common is a song from the perspective of a dad. When Bruce Hornsby wrote "Sunlight Moon," he was an older dad of young twins. (Bruce is 63... Russell and Keith -- named after famous piano players -- are now 26.) It's a touching look at the moment of saying goodbye, and how hard it is when the kiddos are at that age when they don't understand why Dad's going away, again. Our favorite three dads have kids who are just that age. They work away from home -- and then spend most weekends away too, catering to us, a different kind of family, at conventions. From some of the bad behavior I've read about since I joined this fandom, I think it's important for us, as fans, to understand and appreciate what Jensen, Jared and Misha are sacrificing.  Nothing helps me remember that more than this song. The song is attached...

Sharing music with my son is one of the best parts of our relationship... he has a real mind for music, and he appreciates its complexity. I was surprised to learn that, independent of me, he had gotten interested in the progressive metal band Dream Theater, which I had listened to often in college.  Each song is dense and dreamlike, but this one, "Metropolis Part 1, the Miracle and the Sleeper," is particularly rich.  So, with my son's interest piqued, I went back for myself and listened after many years... and of course, the parallels to "Supernatural" popped out at me right away. Three different ideas came from the lyrics of this prog metal opera, from different phases of Dean's life.  The song is featured below. Block out a little bit of time... it's a long one! (Extra credit: Count the different time signatures. Knocking the rhythm senseless is kind of a specialty of theirs... one of their songs has 81 time changes! This one is only ...

My son is a big fan of the metal band Trivium, and we scored tickets to their show a few weeks back...  Taking the boy (he's 13) to his first real metal concert brought some trepidation for his dad and me... but we were quickly surprised -- both by the friendly, caring tone of the band and its frontman, Matt Heafy , and the fun-loving, diversely aged crowd.  My husband and I weren't the oldest people in attendance, and their were far younger kids in the audience than my son. In all it was a massively entertaining good time (we had industrial-strength ear protection), and Trivium gained a couple of ardent new fans. Their song "Beyond Oblivion" is about runaway technological advancement and the peril it could place on humanity, but the more I listened, the more it sounded to me like an excellent parallel to the end of Season 10, and the beginning of 11, when Sam Winchester unleashes the Darkness upon the world to free his brother from the Mark of Cain. Aga...

Well, we all know  how well I was dealing with Michael!Dean, through the waning months of Season 13 and all of Hellatus. I didn't like it. I didn't want it. It terrified me. And now that it's obvious that the other shoe still hasn't dropped, I'm more scared than ever.  But we did get Dean back. And now it feels like we can at least be with him through whatever comes next. The Bruce Hornsby song "Michael Raphael" centers on the "bad angel, good angel on your shoulder" concept... "Remember those cartoons..." Bruce sings at the start of the song. Our Raphael isn't the good guy that Bruce sings about, but his Michael rings pretty true. It inspired me to make this. The original song is embedded below. Headphones or earbuds work best.

I used to listen to music a lot more. All the time, actually. Eventually, my favorite artist pretty much took over all my listening time: Bruce Hornsby. I've seen him in concert about a dozen times over the years, the first time as a young lass in 1987 at Jones Beach, N.Y. Because his music is so eclectic, and has changed so much over the years, I didn't feel like I needed anything else.  And that's exactly how I feel about "Supernatural." Eclectic, always surprising, constantly evolving, it has shut out other shows for me and now consumes my watching world.  But I did get back into listening to Mr. Hornsby. And now, thanks to Show, his songs take on a completely different meaning. I hope you enjoy "Invisible," featuring a young Sam Winchester. (The original song is embedded below. Headphones or earbuds are best.)