Maybe Dreams Come True
Maybe Dreams Come True
A Supernatural story by Mich @raiahome
John woke up in the hospital, banged up and bandaged, and listened to his youngest son give him the rundown of what the doctors had said about Dean.
He saw the fear in Sam’s eyes, the same fear that filled his own heart, but he also saw the determination. The absolute loyalty and love the boy had for his brother. He saw a strength there he had never recognized before.
For the first time in a long time, he actually looked at Sam and, instead of seeing a boy with demon blood in him, a boy that could be a danger to Dean and the whole world, he saw his son.
He saw the nervous energy driving Sam to pace as he tried to reassure his father and himself that everything would be all right, that Dean would be all right. John saw Sam’s eyes dart around as his brain worked on ideas and plans to save his brother. The kid was always too smart for his own good.
Why did this all seem so familiar?
Suddenly, John was struck by a memory, a memory of a dream he had a few years ago.
Why was he remembering this now? John tried to concentrate harder, to remember more. He wasn’t sure why this gripped him now, when his oldest son was apparently dying and he should be thinking of how to save him, but he had a feeling this dream was important. He tuned out Sam’s rambling speech and closed his eyes, trying to visualize what had occurred.
He recalled suddenly appearing in a room filled with red light, and seeing two strange men there. He had gone with his finely tuned hunter instincts and jumped them, putting them down until he could figure out what was happening.
He remembered how shocked he was to discover that these were his sons, grown up to be strong men he could be proud of. Men who told him of their lives and the strange, unbelievable, wondrous things they had done without him because he had… he had died!
John’s eyes flew open as the memory fully emerged. It was like being hit by that truck all over again. Dean dying, the Yellow-Eyed Demon, the Colt, the deal -- it all came rushing back.
But it was just a dream. Wasn’t it?
What if it wasn’t? John knew the world was stranger than anyone knew. There were things happening that he had never told his sons. Not even Dean.
What if that dream had been a glimpse of the future?
Without really thinking about it, John made a list of ingredients he would need, told a convenient lie, and sent Sam to get them and retrieve the Colt. He hadn’t made a decision yet, but he wanted to be ready for anything.
Now that he was alone, John seriously thought about his choices and how much faith he could put in a dream. No matter what Sam had said, he knew the chances of finding anyone who could help Dean in time were slim to none, heavy on the none.
But could he take the chance of leaving Sam’s fate and the fate of the world in the hands of a possible vision of a possible future? Could he believe that things would work out without him there? John knew he couldn’t tell his boys everything he had found out about the demon’s plans. They weren’t ready for that. So, could he take the chance that they would manage on their own?
Could John take the chance that he and Sam could manage on their own?
He knew that he and Sam had never seen eye to eye on, well, pretty much anything. Truth be told, he had never really understood his youngest son. Sam always seemed to want to complicate things that were so simple to John. He had to argue every decision his father made.
Not like Dean. Dean knew the importance of following orders in a war. It was only Dean’s presence that had held the three of them together for as long as it had. He couldn’t count the number of times his oldest had put himself in the middle of John and Sam, trying to keep the peace.
John still remembered the day his youngest had left for college. He winced a bit as he recalled the ultimatum he had given Sam. The fear he had felt at the idea of Sam being out from under his protection and his wary eye, where the demons could get at him and twist him to their evil uses.
John remembers the hurt in both his sons’ eyes as Sam walked out that door. Things hadn’t been quite the same between him and Dean after that. Oh, the boy was still a good hunter, a good soldier, but he didn’t have that look of complete trust and faith in his father that had been there before.
His boys had always been so close. He knew, though he hated to admit it, that Dean had raised Sammy, been more of a parent than John had ever been to either of them. Somehow, Dean understood his brother on a level that John couldn’t begin to comprehend.
He thought about what he knew of the hunts his boys had been on since Sammy left school. He felt a stab of pain at the reason for his son leaving, the undeniable connection with John’s own loss so many years ago. John regretted that he wasn’t there for Sam when he'd lost Jess, but he was glad that Dean was.
Dean was always there for Sam.
John continued to ruminate about his dream. Picking what facts there were apart, trying to list the pros and cons of the plan it presented him until Sammy returned.
Before either of them could say a word, there was a commotion out in the hall. John sent his son to check it out, but deep inside he knew his time was running out. He had to make a decision.
In the end, the choice was actually easy. What finally decided it for him was the blatant fact that he couldn’t let his oldest child die. Not if there was something he could do about it.
All the sacrifices that Dean had made for this family. Giving up his own childhood to take care of Sammy. All the times John had left them alone with too little money and too little thought for how Dean had to deal with providing for both boys.
How often had his oldest denied himself things to ensure his little brother had what he needed? John was struck by the dawning realization of not only how much Sam relied on Dean, but how much he himself had relied on his oldest son.
John had rarely worried about the day to day necessities of his children because he knew Dean would handle it. The amount of responsibility he had pushed onto the boy’s shoulders at such a young age without thought was appalling to him now. The fact that Dean appeared to deal with it so smoothly, without complaint, was a tribute to his son's strength and loyalty.
It suddenly hit John how much of both boys’ childhood he had missed. All the school events he had failed to show up for, all the little milestones of life they had tackled and achieved without him noticing. All the things Dean had to figure out for himself before he could teach them to Sammy. And how much of their childhood they had missed because he had made them grow up too fast and refused to see what it was doing to them.
He owed Dean.
But even more than that, he realized that if anyone could save Sam, it was Dean. John had given up the right, the ability, to influence his youngest son when he had issued that ultimatum. It didn’t matter that a part of him was truly proud of what Sam had accomplished against all odds. It didn’t matter that John had run by Stanford as often as possible to check on him.
Although John loved Sam, and knew somewhere deep inside that his son loved him too, it was too late to really mend their relationship. If Dean was gone, it would only be a matter of time before he and Sammy butted heads to the point where his son would leave again. John knew that his days of being able to control his youngest were long past.
But Sam wouldn’t leave Dean. And Dean would never leave Sam.
With that in mind, John, who had never had faith in much of anything, chose to have faith in that dream. He hoped, no, he knew, that Mary would understand and approve of John abandoning his mission to avenge her death in order to save their son. He just hoped she could forgive him for all the mistakes he had made and the pain he had caused both their boys.
He made the deal.
After a few conciliatory words, he sent Sammy out to get him some coffee, knowing that his youngest was most likely to figure out what was happening.
Then he looked at Dean. What he saw made him proud, and he tried to offer up an apology the best he could for how he had taken advantage of his first son’s giving heart. Acknowledging that he had put too much on Dean. Made him grow up too fast. The look of confusion and disbelief on his oldest’s face at the kind words coming from his father tore at John’s gut and brought tears to his eyes. Another way he had failed his children. But he had done the best that he could.
It was time to go.
There was one more thing he had to do.
Just in case.
He leaned close to Dean’s ear and whispered, “This is important, son. If you can’t save Sam… you’ll have to kill him.”
He turned and walked out the door.
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