Thinky Thoughts: Angels just don't get it



I set out to write a post that was sort of an elaboration on all the thoughts I had while watching -- and rewatching -- Steve Yockey's masterpiece "Nihilism."

Turns out, it's gonna be three posts. Maybe more. So, so sorry. 😁

The thing that stuck with me the most was the ultimate invasion of Michael, to see Dean's thoughts, to spew them back out on the ones Dean loves.

We've all had unkind thoughts about people we love. It's human nature. And Dean has been burdened... he's been hurt badly by the people he loves the most. (Yes, he's done his share of hurting too.) He's got to be more conflicted than anyone, in terms of his feelings for Sam, Cas and even Jack.

Sam: His burden, his mission. The one who abandoned him. The one who betrayed him. The one who forsook him.

Cas: Was meant to be his protector. Betrayed him, failed him, disappointed him more than once. (And remember all those times? "Cas, you child." "Baby in a trenchoat." Remember that after you read this next tweet.) That profound bond has been tested even more than his bond with Sam.

And Jack? Well, Michael put Dean's thoughts on Jack on full, ugly display. When I understood the parallel that Yockey was presenting, it took my breath away:


"A new burden that he was handed." Damn, it gives me chills.

Can we say that Dean didn't feel this way about Jack in the beginning? Can we say for sure that Dean -- perhaps before Jack was actually born -- didn't dread being responsible for another life, as he was pressed into service to be brother, mother and father to Sam? Early in Season 13, Dean repeatedly says he didn't "sign up" to care for Jack, to teach him, to "baby sit" him. He blamed Jack for getting Cas killed, and for them losing Mary, but as his anger faded, it's clear he accepted responsibility for Jack, and of course, grew to love him as he did Sam and Cas, and accept him as family.

(The ultimate expression? Driving lessons in Baby. I wanted to shout that in particular to Jack as that filth was pouring from Michael's smug mouth. How I hate that angel. It's so hard to hate the same face I love so much. But I hate him.)

I guess my point is: Everyone is guilty of dark thoughts about those we love. But those thoughts do not define us, nor do they capture the depth our feelings for that person. Fleeting pettiness, resentment, cruelty -- we can all feel those. But for Michael to spew that poison at Dean's family... to me, it was the ultimate expression of Chuck's angels and their hideous flaws.  

Think about all the things Gadreel said about possessing Sam. "Your insides reek of shame and weakness." These angels, they see inside you, but they don't know you. And in their arrogance, they don't even try.

My good friend Mich said it best: "They simply CANNOT understand how humans work. How we can overcome our weaknesses or even use them to drive ourselves forward. Courage is not a lack of fear. It’s being afraid and doing it anyway. It must be the difference having a soul makes."

Chuck's sons are just broken in that way. And that led me to this thought:

Comments

  1. LaraJanuary 19, 2019 at 6:53 PM

    Brilliant thinky-thoughts. Such a genius breakdown of Michael analyzing Dean's thoughts. Yes, Michael may be aware of what's in Dean's head, but how Michael processes all of that--it's not accurate to Dean's true feelings. Being a (heartless) angel, Michael does not have the ability.

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  2. UnknownJanuary 19, 2019 at 8:48 PM

    Good thoughts and words that even have a personal meaning to me (due to some family/friend things I'm dealing with). It's been said that words can hurt or uplift the most because, once said, they can't be taken back. Words said in anger can sit and foster and grow - which is what Michael is trying to do. But, like you've said. Michael may know what's going on - but does not know Dean or Sam or Castiel - know that they have the strength to see thru the emptiness of those words. Jack worries me a bit. He has the support of everyone - but does he have the human strength to know (in his mind) that what Michael said is so untrue? Guess we will find out.

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  3. JennieJanuary 19, 2019 at 9:08 PM

    YES I always worry about Jack in this way... Sam, Dean and Cas have been down the hurt/betrayal road so many times that they are about over it... they just don't have the energy for the outrage anymore, they love each other, they trust each other, and they understand each other. Jack hasn't had a chance to grow wise, to learn from his dads' mistakes. There just hasn't been enough water under the bridge. I'd hate to see him have to go through all of that to get there. I do worry that Jack -- a soulless Jack perhaps -- could end up going dark. That could shatter our men.

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